feature image for tinder mistakes article and how to hook up on tinder

Do You Make These 11 Tinder Mistakes?23 minute read

You open up your Tinder account with a sense of dread… no new notifications. “Is there even a point to continue mindlessly swiping?” you think to yourself, trying to figure out “How can I hook up on Tinder when I don’t have any matches?”

It’s tediously and annoyingly frustrating.

So let’s go over some of the common reasons that I’ve seen for why some guys have an empty Tinder (or other online dating) account.

As well as, what to do about it so that you can stop looking at a painfully blank account and start looking at a blissfully beautiful account that you can suavely and confidently use to hook up on Tinder.

Now, read through this article to learn those secrets!

1. Being Too Picky

One of the first, and shocking problems that men is that they can sometimes be too picky!

With Tinder there’s something called your ELO score (UPDATE: it’s got a different name now but it’s essentially the same thing).

This score is basically how attractive Tinder thinks someone is depending on how they swipe and how it thinks different people are to hook up on Tinder.

If someone only swipes right 10% of the time Tinder will assume that they’re picky because they’re attractive. The more they swipe left the higher their score will be, at least at first.

Because once Tinder sees that someone’s swiping left most of the time it will start showing them higher rated profiles. After that it will start showing their profile to more attractive women, who are also pickier than normal.

What Happens After That

So what happens?

Unless this guy is dripping pure sex appeal, understands how to turn women on with his touch and got a panty-wetting stare that would impregnate on contact (seriously talking about the top 0.1% of men here) what happens is this:

  1. Tinder shows his profile to pickier women
  2. Most of those women will swipe left on him. But he shouldn’t take it personally, most of these women are the ‘hot girl’ types that swipe left on basically everyone because it gives them an ego boost. They’re not actually on the app to meet people, they just want validation and are complete time wasters. They have no intention of hooking up on Tinder or anywhere else other than possibly the club
  3. Tinder then drops the guys ELO score to the bottom 1%
  4. He doesn’t hook up on Tinder

After getting so many left swipes Tinder will just assume that he’s trying to compete above his pay grade and will MURDER his ELO score. What happens after that is it will still show him the hot girl types that he wants to see, but it won’t show his profile to them because they’re not swiping right on him.

Noob Boost Graph

Here’s a handy graph of this distorted effect:

how to hook up on Tinder: fix your Tinder attractiveness score graph

Solutions

He needs to work on himself until he’s the top 1% when it comes to looks.

And/or be less picky in his swiping habits.

Look, does it really matter that a girl is 5ft8 instead of 5ft5? Or 126 pounds instead of 120? That’s the level of absurd pickiness that I’m talking about here.

I’m not telling you to swipe right on the beasts of the online dating world.

But what I am talking about is swiping left on a woman because of her not meeting some ungodly high standards that are just foolish.

She’s got to be 5ft9, weight exactly 127 pounds. She has to be a redhead with a tattoo of a swan on her back and read books on the weekends while also being a model.

Stupidly high standards like that are only going to hurt you.

Don’t believe me? Run an experiment yourself! It’s pretty interesting to see what happens.

2. Not Deleting Your Profile Enough

  • UPDATE: Tinder has started penalizing people who do this. Because of that, here’s an article that goes into depth about how to do this safely again (because who doesn’t want more women?)

Tinder favors new profiles over people that have been on the app for a while.

Some call this the ‘noob boost’. I like to call it the ‘how to hook up on Tinder’ boost! Because doing this one thing has the potential to get you from loathing online dating to loving it!

I’ve run this test at least a hundred times myself, personally. And it’s advice I’ve seen work for other guys as well.

The Technique

When you stop getting matches, what’s happening is that Tinder is strangling your profile (again, unless you’re a male model). It does this in the hopes that you’ll cough up your hard-earned money.

So what do we do?

Simple, delete your profile and then make a brand new one.

You can literally do this on the same day!

If you managed to get matches when you first started using Tinder but aren’t getting matches anymore then give this a shot.

Tinder Loves Noobs

Tinder favors new users.

Why?

Because they want to get you hooked (hooked on the app, not hook up on Tinder, sadly), so they will give you a boost for a little while.

After that, they will start kicking the crap out of your account until you make it rain dollar bills for the paid boosts.

Here’s a Tinder Secret

But here’s a little secret, those boosts are outperformed by simply deleting your profile!

I ran this experiment with my old cell phone pictures. These pictures weren’t the best, but I had a lot of experience with them and I knew what my results would be with using them.

I knew that these cell phone pictures would give me about 10 matches a day for the first few days. Overall, in a month I could expect about 40-50 matches every month.

Want to hook up on tinder? Delete your profile every once in a while
When this stops happening then it’s time to delete your profile and start a brand new one

Some months would be less than that and others would be a little more than that, but that’s a number range that I could reliably count on.

During this test I managed to get 41 matches in a single month (though as I talk about down below I don’t swipe on the last week, so technically this would be 3 weeks instead of a full month).

Not super great, but not bad, especially considering the fact that they were cell phone pictures.

Then, I bought a single Tinder boost to test which was better.

What Was The Result?

When my profile was still new I got 11 matches on the first day of swiping.

For the Tinder boost I chose a Thursday at around 7:00 P.M. which was one of the best times to use a boost, according to my research at the time.

What was the result of my boost?

8 matches.

I only managed to get 8 matches in a single day with my Tinder boost.

I will concede that the Tinder boost only lasted for a half hour whereas my new Tinder profile was for a full day. So it could be argued that Tinder boosts are better. It can also be argued that this test wasn’t the best because I’ve only done it once.

Fair points.

But that’s only part of the point, why pay for a boost when you can get about the same results for free?

Why pay when you can get the same results, possibly better, without spending a dime?

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather just delete my profile and get the new profile boost. That way you can hook up on Tinder without paying a dime!

Solution

This is what I do: create a new profile at the beginning of the month.

Swipe on a few profiles; around 10 or so.

Then leave the app for at least an entire day, sometimes two whole days.

Then swipe as normal and start talking to the women you matched with.

Try to set up dates with them for the next few weeks as you keep swiping as normal.

This is what I would do for the first 3 weeks of a month. On the last week of the month I would rarely swipe at all, often times choosing instead to message and not swipe at all. Or if I did swipe, only swipe on a profile or two at a time (the purpose of this is to remain active and tell the app that you are still using it to try and hook up on Tinder).

Then, after the last week I would delete my profile and start completely over.

The Reason: To Hook Up on Tinder

To hook up on Tinder is the only reason to use Tinder
Guys get on Tinder for one reason…

The goal of online dating is to set up dates, not get a bunch of chat buddies. This goes double for Tinder.

You might be worried about losing all of your matches when you delete your profile, but don’t be. As long as you’re following the guidelines in the above paragraph you’ll be setting up dates and should have their numbers to reach them after deleting your account.

Then you re-run the process all over again.

If you have amazing pictures, then feel free to extend the time between creating your profile and deleting it. As long as you’re still getting matches then you can keep your profile.

But once Tinder starts punishing your profile for now reason, then delete it.

Why Does This Happen?

But why do you have to delete it?

Because of Tinder boosts. Other guys want to hook up on Tinder and a lot of them are willing to pay for it.

There are a lot of thirsty guys out there willing to spend ungodly amounts of money just to match with women.

The Tinder boost put your profile in front of more women.

In short, it cheats the line. And if you’re not paying then that means your profile is getting pushed behind all of these other guys.

And if they’re willing to spend money on the platform then chances are they don’t have very good pictures, otherwise they wouldn’t need to spend money (as a general rule of thumb, there are plenty of exceptions).

What’s the end result of this?

Women see a bunch of hideous profiles pushed in front of them and don’t want to spend as much time on the app.

No wonder most guys falsely believe that women aren’t trying to hook up on Tinder. Because for most guys, they’re just not that appealing!

All it takes is a little bit of effort and you will be better than most other guys out there. And women will thank you for it.

If you want to, then by all means go ahead and buy the boosts. They do work and if you have a great profile then they’ll work like dynamite fishing in a bucket!

But if you don’t want to spend money (I don’t) then delete your profile and re-create it for the new profile boost.

3. Using Pictures That Desecrate Any of Their Good Qualities

Mentioned at the end of number two, but this is probably the biggest reason why men don’t get matches.

Their pictures are to a woman’s eyes what forgetting how to wipe will do to their noses.

To put it plainly, they’re gross as fuck.

I go into this in more detail both here and in the link in the picture below, so make sure to check those posts out for more detail.

want to hook up on Tinder? Get better pictures, check out the link to learn more
Click the picture to learn more

But here are a few tips to help get you going:

You’ll want to have a picture of you outside that primarily shows off your body. Typically, though not always, you’ll want this picture to be the first in your lineup.

After that, you’ll want a picture of your face and you looking into the camera.

Most of the time, your body picture won’t do the best job of showing off your face. Which is the main reason for this picture slot.

After that, pictures of you and your hobbies. Luckily, there’s a lot that can go right in this picture, so long as the picture quality itself is good.

The very last picture will be a group photo, if you choose to use one (and only a single one).

Listen, group photos definitely work, as long as you follow some simple rules.

  1. You only have a single group photo and it’s the last picture in your lineup
  2. You’re the best looking guy in the group
    1. This works extremely well if you tell your friends what you’re up to, and even better if they want a good picture too
    2. That way, you can take turns dressing down for your friend. So you take one picture of you dripping sex appeal while your friend just looks okay or even good
      1. You don’t want him looking like a slob because that makes you look bad, but you want to be better looking. Then do the same for him, though preferably in a different setting so girls don’t see both pictures and think ‘They planned this’.
  3. If other women are in the picture make sure it’s a real group photo so it doesn’t look like your ex-girlfriend. Ambiguity is your friend.

The last picture tip: use a real camera and if you can, spring for someone that can really use it.

Remember what I said above about having a system? You have to invest in a system sometimes, otherwise it won’t be as good as it could have been. Invest now and reap the rewards for literally years.

Your future women will thank you for it 😉

4. Choosing an Unattractive Archetype

Linking to this article again, I go more into detail about a few attractive and unattractive archetypes you can use.

The TL;DR version of that part of the article is this:

You want to showcase the most attractive parts of yourself and your life in your pictures. For example, I have quite a few attractive archetypes I can dig into in my pictures.

I love sports and I like to be active. If I were to fall into those then I could have an athlete as my image. This appeals to a wide variety of women and I wouldn’t have any problem with getting a hook up on Tinder.

But I prefer artistic women that being an athlete might not appeal to as much. This means that if I want those kinds of women I would have a much better chance using a different archetype.

Therefore I use pictures of me adventuring around and exploring the world around me. I also make sure to have a picture of me with a camera since I enjoy photography, and this appeals a great deal to the women I primarily want to meet.

As a third option, I like the old card game Yu-Gi-Oh and I still have my cards. But do you think for one second that I have my cards in my pictures?

HELL NO!

It’s not attractive to women, therefore I don’t use them.

Later on down the road I’ll show women my ‘dork collection’ as I call it and at that point it’s endearing and women love it. It’s a very different story when a woman is already invested in you.

Right now we’re talking about strangers, so pick an attractive archetype to lead with.

5. Using Taboo Pictures

These pictures aren’t necessarily bad pictures, but they’re looked down upon by a lot of women.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you can still use these pictures and have success with them. It’s even preferable to use these pictures if you are looking for a long term relationship AND whatever you’re showing in your pictures is EXTREMELY important to you.

What that means is this: if a woman doesn’t do whatever it is that you show in your picture then you wouldn’t date her AND you want a long term relationship, then it’s okay to show ‘taboo’ pictures.

Because then it’s going to filter out the girls you don’t want to meet while the girls you do want to meet will give you bonus points.

Realize, however, that you will not get as many matches as you would if you didn’t include ‘taboo’ pictures.

What are ‘taboo’ pictures?

They’re pictures like:

  • Hunting/fishing
  • Smoking
  • Anything having to do with religion
  • Including your kids in your pictures (and even if you are looking for a long term relationship this picture should follow the group picture rules, which means have it in the back of your lineup)
  • Pictures that clearly show you looking for a hookup on Tinder only
  • And others that are similar

Want to hook up on Tinder? Don't use taboo pictures

Sex-only pictures are a little different, yet they’re still taboo pictures.

What I mean are pictures that are kind of douchey, like bathroom mirror selfies that are extremely sexualized.

I’ve never used them so I can’t give much advice about them other than what I’ve read, but others swear by them if all you want are one night stands.

But you have to look HOT and you’re still not going to get as many matches as you could have otherwise. In addition, you’re going to be messaging a lot of women before one bites and you find someone to hook up on Tinder with.

What Are The Pros of Using Them?

Because they do save time if you can do them right.

You can safely have a girl come straight over to your place and fuck, after she’s shown interest. Why else would she want to see you? Though even in today’s society you still have to be careful… 

6. Having a Bio That is Needy or Unattractive

Neediness in men is like an extra 800 pounds on a woman.

The only exception?

There are chubby chasers out there that like bigger women. But the reverse is NEVER true. Women find needy men absolutely GROTESQUE!

The only women that go after needy men are the women who want to use them and then throw them away like trash to rot on the side of the road.

Think gold diggers and the like. Those women aren’t going after needy men because they want them, they want what they have to offer. And after getting their dishonest and horrid desires met, they will then start treating you like a perverse piece of shit. If they decide to even stick around at all.

So remember, you always have options. Never throw away your dignity for a woman.

Because you will get used by an underhanded tyrant.

7. Using Repulsive Messages

What’s up. Hey. You’re beautiful. I would drag my testicles over 10 miles of glass for a chance to say hi to you.

Truly abhorrent and absolutely disgusting messages that shit all over any chance the guy may have had before using those messages.

Listen, you don’t have to have amazing messages and it’s best that you don’t go into the other extreme of trying to entertain women. But there are some ground rules when messaging a woman to hook up on Tinder.

This article will help out a lot, but for a smaller version keep reading!

feature image for how to text a girl don't be boring
Click the link to learn the first texting rule when texting women

Ground Rules When Messaging Women to Hook Up on Tinder More Often

Whenever you message a woman you have to have something mildly fun and ask a question (or otherwise makes it easy for a woman to message you back).

That’s something that those repugnant messages at the start of the section don’t do. They make it difficult to message back and scream at women how few options the guy has.

A woman has to think about what to send back when she gets one of those defiling messages.

Don’t get me wrong, you want women investing in you. As much and as often as possible you want women to invest in you.

But this is too soon, it’s too much work and she doesn’t yet know if you’re worth it.

If you want to take the extra time, comment on something in her profile that stands out to you. Ask a question about it.

Asking about a funky hat in a woman’s profile is easy to respond to because she doesn’t have to think about it.

It gets the ball rolling.

And it will also help your chances in her responding to you and going out on a date with you which eventually leads to a hook up on Tinder (and if she’s not responding then click here to find out what to do about it).

After that, you can ask some more detailed questions and even tease her. And you’ll need to chat a little bit before asking her out on a date.

Generally, I recommend around 5 messages you’ve sent and 5 messages that she’s sent, making a grand total of 10 messages exchanged. Then ask her out on a date.

Sometimes it has to be more than that and sometimes it can be less, but 10 is a good average.

8. Taking Way Too Long to Pull the Trigger

This is by far the most infuriating mistake I see men make. They keep talking and keep talking and keep talking and keep tal-*zzzz…*

If you’re not asking women out after message 10 regularly, then you’re waiting WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long!

There are some guys out there that recommend you cut down the number to six (three from you and three from her) and others that just say to go for it on the first message!

I’ve experimented with both, and I find 10 gets me better results and it’s what I recommend.

But if you’re on message 15 and you haven’t asked her out then you’re waiting waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too long. If you want to hook up on Tinder then you have to be doing it by 10 at the latest!

What really sucks about seeing guys make this mistake is that he’s going to lose women that were interested in him! Meanwhile the vast majority of the women talking to him after this point just want to blatantly use him for attention and are complete time wasters!

Want to Hook Up on Tinder? Avoid The Full-of-Shit Time Wasters

Not a woman you’d want to meet…. probably…

There are women that use online dating that don’t want to actually meet people.

For them, they’re more than happy to just talk and talk and talk and talk for as long as you let them.

It’s what they want.

But as soon as you ask them out on a date?

They’re either ghosting a guy so fast Casper would be jealous, or their going to turn around and crookedly curse and crush guys for asking a woman out.

This is called moral shaming and it’s a pretentious thing women (not just women do this, but they are the subject right now) will do when they’re not interested. But rather than say it, they’re going to instead try to punish a guy for having needs. And some guys fall for it and start waiting even longer to ask them out!

It’s disgusting.

Sometimes these women will even give a silly and stupid excuse as to why they’re not interested.

“You’re moving too fast”.

Bullshit! They just want to keep talking and have no interest in meeting up with anybody (or at the very least, the guy they’re saying it too)!

Forget them. They’re no women and they don’t matter.

Move faster and you’ll get more dates. The girls that ghost you are what I call ‘no’ girls and they don’t matter. Focus on the ones that say yes because they’re the only ones that matter.

They’re the ones that are happy to meet you and will brighten your day. Meanwhile the no girls are like psychic vampires, threatening to terrorize you anyway they know how.

Always, always, always focus on the yes women. They help make life worth living for.

9. Getting Too Sexual Too Fast

If all you want are one night stands then you can safely ignore this rule, but recognize that you’re going to lose women. Meanwhile, the women that just want to use and lose you will love it.

But otherwise, you’ll want to limit your sexuality on Tinder and other online dating platforms.

Ironic, isn’t it? That not advertising your sexuality on Tinder can actually help you hook up on Tinder. But that’s how it goes…

Stuff like this can work extremely well in real life, because you get bonus points for being brave and having brass balls.

But online?

You get no bonus points because it’s way too easy for guys to just rock out with their cocks out, and many do to the detriment of us all…

In real life, when you see an attractive woman that you want to talk to you don’t just bust out “hey let’s fuck” right away because it doesn’t work!

You have to give her a chance to get attracted to you and you have to go through at least a few steps.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are going to be lots of chances out there to skip steps.

Sometimes you can skip all of the steps and be inside of a woman within minutes of meeting her, but those are the exceptions, not the rule.

When you’re on the date you can express some of your sexuality and have it work marvelously. But when online it only makes guys look like chumps who never get laid.

10. Small Towns Suck

I hesitate to say this, since it can become a crutch for people to lean on too much. But sometimes it really is the area. If you’re in the middle of nowhere with a population of five then you’re not going to hook up on Tinder with any consistency.

Doesn’t matter how panty-wetting your profile is.

If you want to make online dating work for you then you’re going to need to live in a bigger city. Otherwise you won’t have enough people.

Small towns are not good places to hook up on Tinder
If you’re town is only this big you’ll not get much action on Tinder

Dating is a numbers game anyways and you need the numbers in order to succeed. No numbers means no success, which means that you’re going to have to change your strategy if you want to stay where you are and still succeed.

It can be done, but not with online dating.

11. Being Massively Obese

This is another thing that I didn’t want to put on here simply because guys will see this and give up.

Listen, it’s not hard to have a healthy weight. I’m by no means a male model, far from it in fact.

I eat basically whatever I want but I don’t go overboard and right now my exercise is non-existent because of my other goals. I still eat cookies and pizza and all of that but I don’t do it every day. Most days I just eat normal food.

Doing this alone will control your weight to acceptable levels. If you want an above average body type then you will have to put in above average work and live that above average life.

If you want to prepare healthy meals in a lazy way, then buy a crockpot. Set it and then forget it. Talk about a great way to help you hook up on Tinder!

When it comes to women, there are a lot of different things that women can find attractive about a man. Women’s sexualities are more flexible than men’s.

But Women Aren’t Blind!

If a guy looks good then women are going to find him more satisfying to look at than a fat guy or dude in trashy clothes, all else being equal.

Even if the next guy is the exact same person, just not wrapped up in as nice a package.

This effect is multiplied, added onto and then multiplied again with online dating. This is because online dating is a visual medium. Therefore, to get results you have to either:

  1. Look fucking amazing
  2. Photograph well

About Your Weight

For some guys this can be a touchy topic.

But here’s some tough love, your weight is within your control. If you have some kind of internal problem (a small amount of people do) then get it fixed.

If certain foods trigger a bad reaction in you then you have to make some adjustments to get the results you want. As an example, I have to be careful with the amounts of dairy and chocolate that I eat because it breaks out my skin.

It suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

But you know what’s even worse than that? Having pimples on my chest and back. That shit’s gross.

So I had to make a choice.

And the same thing goes for controlling your weight. You’re going to have to make some changes in your life to start living the life of your dreams.

Inspiring Example:

Have you ever seen some of the transformations from the tv show “The Biggest Loser“?

Some of them are pretty shocking, and most of them do it in less than a year!

Again, I’m not a male model.

I’m about average and I’m assuming that most of you are average as well. What that means is that we could probably break into the top 10-20% of men within a month or two with some serious effort and dedication. And that’s before adding in all of the picture advice for getting amazing pictures!

That’s the most beautiful thing about human beings to me, personally.

That we have the ability to make such drastic changes in such a short period of time.

If five or so months seems like it’s too long to you now, think about it this way: where will you be in a year from now if you make these changes now?

Where could you have been today if you had already made those changes last year?

Quote: It's never too late to be what you might have been - attributed to George Eliot
So get out there and get more women!

Keep Moving Forward
-Alexander

What are you struggling with?